“I wanted to take the step to support families from beginning to end, and to do so with compassion.”
What work were you doing previously?
I worked as a corporate fundraiser for many years for charities like the NSPCC, Great Ormond Street and the Social Mobility Foundation.
Tom worked in the Insurance sector in strategy roles.
What are you doing now?
I retrained as a funeral celebrant a few years ago.
This year, Tom and I have decided to launch our own funeral director business, serving families in Lewisham.
Why did you change?
Working as a funeral celebrant opened my eyes to the funeral sector and the whole process.
I wanted to take the step to support families from beginning to end, and to do so with compassion.
I've seen that, when someone dies, the whole thing can feel incredibly overwhelming, with lots of different people to liaise with and admin to do.
I want to reduce that burden and offer something really personal and heartfelt. I also see a very small number of female funeral directors in the sector, and I believe the industry can benefit from having more.
Tom and I decided to launch this as a husband-and-wife team as we complement each other. Tom is great at the ‘behind the scenes’ work: building the business.
He takes care of the marketing and day to day operations. I focus on working directly with families, hand holding them through the process and then leading the funeral ceremony itself.
When was the moment you decided to make the change?
We'd been discussing it for many months but made the decision to take the plunge over the summer.
Our kids were off for the summer holidays and we both had the realisation that life really is too short not to pursue your dreams and take the plunge.
How did you choose your new career?
It was a natural choice as I had already been working as a successful funeral celebrant and knew about the industry.
Taking the step to run our own funeral directors was a huge step, but my passion had already been sparked. For Tom, moving out of the corporate sector and into something so ‘hands-on’ and community based was a daunting but exciting prospect.
Are you happy with the change?
We are both happy and excited with the change.
But it can be very stressful trying to get established and battling with imposter syndrome!
What do you miss and what don't you miss?
I sometimes miss the comfort bubble of working for someone else.
Having set annual leave, benefits, being able to sit at a laptop and zone out. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to have so much responsibility and to know that the success of your venture boils down to just you.
Paradoxically, those are the elements that I also don’t miss. I often felt trapped having to answer to someone else, having to navigate bureaucracy and being chained to a laptop with little to no human contact. Tom feels the same.
How did you go about making the shift?
I had a ‘Jerry Maguire’ moment, quit my job and retrained as a celebrant.
I knew I had to make a change and just went for it! Opening our own funeral business has been a slower and more considered process, with lots of research and information gathering.
How did you develop (or transfer) the skills you needed for your new role?
I already had skills in the industry.
We've both used the skills we’ve built up through years in the workplace – how to negotiate, to work really quickly and efficiently, to strategise and be resourceful. And resilience!
What didn’t go well? What wrong turns did you take?
Our very first funeral was a hugely stressful and rewarding process.
We learnt so much and in such a short space of time. I think it pushed us both to the brink, but we wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
It helped us to see that we can both withstand a huge amount of stress, and there is a lot to learn, but we both have the motivation and passion for this job and that is our anchor.
I think we've both learnt to believe in ourselves and that we can deal with difficult situations because we are a strong team.
How did you handle your finances to make your shift possible?
We're currently an online business, meaning that we don't yet have to factor in rental costs.
Tom has continued working in his contract role in the interim, until we're able to work full time for our business. I'm also continuing to do celebrant work in my spare time. We're considering applying for a government backed start up loan to make it possible to rent shop space.
What was the most difficult thing about changing?
The most difficult thing was battling the self-doubt and making comparisons to the large, corporate funeral directors.
Knowing that our model is different, but that we will not have all the resources at our fingertips was daunting!
What help did you get?
We haven’t really accessed any help!
We’ve just approached it on our own, together.
What have you learnt in the process?
We’ve learnt to set boundaries around our working relationship and our personal relationship, as we are married!
Our roles and responsibilities are very clear, and we make sure that when the working day is finished, we focus on our family and that precious time together.
What do you wish you'd done differently?
I wish we'd taken the plunge sooner!
What would you advise others to do in the same situation?
Try not to listen to outside noise.
Make sure you work out very clearly what your goal is and what you want to achieve. When things get tough, this becomes your anchor.
You need this to hold on to. And don’t worry about getting things wrong. Even though it’s hard to process mistakes in the short term, it’s always a valuable experience.
What resources would you recommend to others?
Don’t underestimate using social media to research and scope out the sector.
We've learnt so much just by following other funeral directors. Take every opportunity to ask questions. People love talking about themselves and the more knowledge you can soak up, the better.
To find out more about Liz and Tom's business, visit https://mementomori.london/
What lessons could you take from Liz and Tom's story to use in your own career change? Let us know in the comments below.
