Do I have to live a dual life - becoming the real me only when I leave work at 5.30pm everyday?

ShiftDoctor answer

By Jessica McGrego... on 12 June 2007 at 18:09

Dilemma dilemma, should I go or should I stay? It is an oft-asked question along with the one about a happy medium, and I have to say one without a single answer. Sorry! This is mainly because we have to decide what a happy medium means for us personally. However, saying that there are a few pointers that can help you make what will be your unique decision.

In some ways you have to start at the end of your question, and that is whether you want to stay in the corporate world. The choice between doing your day job and being the ‘real me' in the evening, or living on the smallholding with chickens. You know many people opt for the first option, but I always feel that you might as well be doing something that has meaning to you for as much of your day as you can, not just your free time. That may not necessarily mean you have to go as far as the total opposite swing of the pendulum and tend your chickens. It could be taking a different stance towards your current job. I recently worked with a client who thought that he needed to leave the corporate world, but on deeper exploration realised that he liked the actual work, it was his attitude to the work and the people around him that was causing the problem.

He was playing the ‘pleasing people' game and therefore was not ‘himself' in his job. We worked on his confidence and on expressing himself truly within the corporation and his experience of the job changed. Not only that, but as he focused on enjoyment, the people he had trouble working with before either changed or moved into new departments. Although he is doing the same work as before, same challenges, he now feels he can express himself fully through the work and it has become a really enjoyable experience, every day.

If, however, you decide that you will never thrive in your current environment then yes, maybe it is time to move. You know yourself pretty well it seems and you know you need a challenge. That is a useful piece of information. Why don't you do some work on exploring what your passions really are. There is a very good exercise I wrote about a while ago at http://www.careershifters.org/node/261 in this you will rediscover your passions and you will get a feeling whether the AML work you are doing right now does suit you or whether it is just something you know. I always say to anyone, if you are going to change your job make sure you change it to one that you love. So, do the exercise and see what comes out of it.

If AML still fits then great, another piece of the puzzle solved. Now it is just a question of where and for that make a list of the possibilities and work through them. Once you get clear on what you wish to do the ‘how' follows. Write down all your ideas, talk to people in similar fields, research on the internet where your skills are needed and from this information create an action plan for finding your perfect job.

If AML no longer fits then start to explore some of the ideas that came out of the exercise. See where you feel that you'd have purpose, where you would be challenged and be learning new ways of being. Be open to any and all ideas and take a look at some of other surgeries on the site, they have some great ideas on how to identify and decide on what career would truly be great for you. If it includes the chickens and it feels right - then great!

Good luck, and one last tip, get in touch with how you'd like to feel every day at work and play. Really sit down and feel it in your body, ‘how good it will feel when I am doing the thing that makes my heart sings.' Then whatever you are considering test it against that feeling, it is a really good pointer for what's the best occupation you.

Jessica offers a free introductory session to discuss how she can help you make the move you want; if you would like to arrange a time for her to call you please email her at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com or call +34 958 639 593. For more information visit http://www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com

She lives in southern Spain and works internationally as a Life Coach enabling people to follow their dream and gain fulfilment in every area of life. She has worked with many career shifters and particularly enjoys using her own life experience, including her time in the corporate world, to support those making whatever move they choose.