Sustainable happiness

For me, this blog was never just meant to be about the search for a new career. There are so many other factors that come into play and are affected indirectly as a result of a change in direction, and I think they're just as important to express.

One thought - a conglomerate of half-thoughts really - is that of sustainable happiness.

'Sustainability' is a buzz word that is bandied around a lot these days - from energy to farming - but what about in the context of happiness? Some people work crappy jobs 5 days a week in order that they can enjoy their weekend. They might earn a good salary, but they're always looking to those two days at the end of the working week. The light at the end of the tunnel where they can let their hair down and, for many out there, spend a wad to get some kicks. But is it worth it? If you work a gruelling week, ground out in stress and long hours in a job that provides little satisfaction, you deserve to go wild at the weekend. You want to live a little because, after all, you haven't had a chance to for the preceding 5 days. However, I think this way of life is a far too polarised.

A vicious circle is formed: you become accustomed to a type of lifestyle and you need to keep doing the job so you can afford it. You need to get the latest gizmo that's being blasted into your personal space through the TV; you need to go out on the lash with your friends; you need to get the latest fashion fad. It's the social anaesthetic of recent generations. Buy this and you'll be happy. Unfortunately the anaesthetic wears off quickly and we need another 'fix' to be happy, or what we think it is to be happy.

Even more twisted than this is how our own pride is turned against us. I have a friend who hates her job. She wants to teach abroad and did start a TEFL course, but last time I spoke to her the TEFL course was on hiatus because she was too busy at work. Now, whenever I try and gently push her into kick starting her own career shift, I have to admit I feel that I'm shaming her in some way. Anyone who uses this site has been there. You talk about how you hate your job, but do nothing about it. If somebody challenges you on why you don't try and move, you give your excuses. If they see through these excuses and tell you the same, it feels as if you're being made to feel small.

Well, that's how I feel with my friend. But the latest thing she said to me on the matter was how her job has now become a matter of pride. She wants to show people that she can do the job, and do it well. Well, that's fine, but to what end? She's already been there a few years and proved her worth. In fact, to be quite frank, if she quit they'd be screwed because she's doing about 2-3 people's jobs. She knows this. But it's not the company that's manipulating her to stay. She is. It's an admirable trait, to take pride in your work, but there has to be a balance between doing well for your employer and doing well for yourself. Like so many companies, they don't appreciate her, so taking pride in her work isn't going to impress anyone. In addition, she isn't fulfilled by this line of work so she's not getting anything out of it.

So what's the point? None, as far as I can see. She has plenty of good experience so I'm sure she could find work in a less stressful short-term role with a shorter working week so she has time to do that TEFL course and teach abroad. But what is she, and the rest of us, willing to sacrifice in order to make our dream come true?

A lot of what I've said is is borne out of the experience of a 20-something single man. I make no bones or apologies for not including for those who are married, have children,who maybe older etc. because who am I to comment on what I have not experienced? But still I feel I can at least start to write a list about how to achieve sustainable happiness, which is applicable to a lot of people:

1. Materialistically, appreciate what you have. That way, you won't feel as compelled to go out there and find those fixes. I'm not saying that you have to live like a monk, but if you can live on a modest amount then you'll never be suckered in by a fat payslip. Rememebr that everything in this world is relative. If you live the high life all the time, then major inconveniences are when your hairdresser - the only one you'll trust with your hair - can't fit you in the next week, or when the supermarket has run out of that pate you just adore. However, if you live a rich - but maybe not materialistically rich - life, then those occasions in life when you taste the high life will be all the sweeter.
   
   A treat is only a treat if you don't have it all the time.
   
   
2. Don't look for quick fixes to get you through your life. Happiness isn't found at the bottom of a pint glass or the end of a clothes rail. I know at this point I sound like that Liverpuddlian bloke with a megaphone on Oxford Street who frequently informs us that we're not going to find happiness in the shops and that we're all going to hell but, to be fair, he's half right (the first half, to clarify).
   
   
3. Don't forget about 'you' when changing your career. Selina touched this topic on her blog (http://www.careershifters.org/node/276) and it's something that is often overlooked. You need to be happy before you can make others happy, and if you can find sustainable happiness then your effect on others will be so much greater.
   
   
4. Never let anyone, even you, use your natural attributes against you. If people know you're a hard worker they might respect you, but they also might want to work you for all your worth.
   
   Know your self-worth (but don't be a prick ;)

It's amazing how critical and insightful you can be about happiness whilst listening to Joy Division. I just wish Ian Curtis could have found himself some sustainable happiness in his life. He was only what, 23, when he died and his effect on the world in such a short life has been so great.

Just imagine how much more he could have achieved in time.