The first day arrives

Tummy butterflies flapping like mad. Left home half an hour ago and am now on the train on my way to my first day at work after 18 months maternity leave and weeks of having the job on hold while I moved house and found childcare.

Actually it is my second attempt at a first day. The first ended when my car got stuck in the snow on the way to the station last Thursday. It took me two hours before I got home after a round trip that would normally have taken 10 minutes.

I was so gutted, I actually cried. Only for a few seconds. But the night before I had packed my bag, looked up train times, carefully chosen and laid out my clothes, taken lots of deep breaths, slept very badly and listened to Matthew telling me it was all going to be great.

Starting a new job is always nerve-wracking, but I’m pretty sure this is the worst I have ever felt. I don’t know how people do it who have had a longer career break than me. Actually, perhaps I do. Just like everything in parenting, you just do what you have to, because there is no-one else. Then you find out that however hard it is you can. I have found inner resources that I never knew I had, and I only have one child.

Well, anyway, I will let you know how it goes. It is a good start. I’ve caught the train and the car park attendant was lovely – apparently he has an 18 month old daughter. Small stuff, but important when I feel as nervous as this. Deep breaths again…