But I Could Be Doing So Much More

Would you consider yourself self-critical or maybe even a perfectionist? I find that a lot of people use these two descriptions to give themselves a hard time. I believe that I used to be like this myself. Yes, it's partly cultural. There are groups of people who do not value acknowledging successes if there are a few small mishaps that occurred along the way as well. But if you only concentrate on the latter, when will you ever be happy?

Yes, we could have always done so much more. But instead of beating ourselves up for what we haven't done, how about expanding our focus to what we have done and/or accomplished? Yes, we can be always be better, but instead of focusing on everything you don't have and how most people around you are better in some way, shape or form, how about stopping to think about the ways in which you might be good, or heaven forbid, even great?

I had one client this week who shared with me all the things that he didn't have, and how there was always something he could have done more of. In the process of comparing himself to others he was making himself feel very small. Now, it's possible that the others are great. And as he said, isn't competition and comparing yourself to others natural? That's a long debate in itself, but if you feel that you want to compare yourself to others, at least do it in a healthy, fair way and acknowledge the things that you have going for yourself as well! Otherwise you give the other guys an unfair advantage, and you don't allow yourself to start the competition on the same starting line as ‘the others'.

Harv T Eker, a US-based wealth guru, talks about conditioning the mind to be open to success. A friend of mine did one of his courses, and she shared that he would go around the room and talk to people about how they felt about money, and based on a few minutes could pretty much tell them how much money they roughly had going for them. Amazing? I thought so at first, but the more I've studied his approach, the more I think it applies more broadly than that, wealth is just a great way to tangibly measure it. One of his workbooks has a short yet powerful piece that I've shared with clients quite a bit recently:

Like attracts like. Success breeds success. The more you ‘feel' successful, the more success will come your way. You cannot feel successful if you do not look for and acknowledge your successes. The successes can be major or minor. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you acknowledge yourself for whatever you did do.

Do not look for what you didn't do or didn't get done or could have done better. That is a ‘loser's' way of looking at the world. Look specifically for the progress you made in any arena be it financial, business, health, fitness, relationships, learning, serving, etc.

i.e. "I completed my finances today"
i.e. "I helped clear the dishes today"
i.e. "I did a walking workout this morning"

So for the next week I encourage you to finish off each day writing down five things that you succeeded in during the day. Consider this as a mental gym exercise, most people I know find it difficult to start with. In some respects it's like going to the gym, the first time will be difficult, but once the muscle starts to develop, it'll become easier and a more natural way of thinking and being. Why not begin to acknowledge yourself today - I guarantee you it'll help your career shift process in no time at all!