We think that our parents' influence in our lives ends when we're in our late teens or early 20s, but it's fascinating to me how many of my clients still worry about what their parents think when making difficult career choices.
If I'm honest, I had the same worries as well.
My parents' generation grew up under very different ideas of what work is, could and should be. Whereas for them work was about having security and stability, our generation has moved on from there, and we seem to be seeking more enlightenment and fulfillment from our work.
Maybe we do take security for granted a little, but then again the ‘jobs for life' that the previous generations were more likely to find are few and far between these days.
So how do we move on with our lives whilst ensuring our parents that we're okay, that we're not tossing everything away and going off on a whim?
It can be quite challenging, but I do encourage you to go forward with it.
When I first started my own business someone said to me to be very careful about the advice I chose to listen to. They said that most often when people give (especially unsolicited) advice, what they are partly doing is projecting their fears onto you. How true this is I think. Same applies for the parents' advice.
As much as they really feel like they are thinking of what's best for us, when they start to give advice about what to do and not to do, have a think, is this a fear they have that they are now projecting on you? Most of us have subconsciously inherited some of our parents' views of the world anyway!
Chances are you won't necessarily help them overcome their fear, but you can alleviate their anxieties. If we understand where they are coming from, we can begin to see things from their point of view, acknowledge this and then share our point of view, and agree to have a different view of the world. There's no point getting into the I'm right, you're wrong argument that I know so many people get into with their parents. There is no universal and objective right and wrong - we all have our own, and hence we have our own choices that we take.
Now, not all parents are fine with this. But my belief is that it is your life you are living, take on the advice that you feel is beneficial and know that most of the time they're coming from a place that's trying to support you, even if it doesn't always feel like it!
