I’ve done it, you’ve done it, probably we’ve all done it. Enthusiastically written down the next step of a career-changing plan on a ‘To Do’ list, and then, come the end of the day, ‘realised’ it’s the one thing on the list we haven’t done (even when we’ve starred it and ringed it with green highlighter). We’ve put off making that call, completing that application form, arranging that meeting. We’ve spent hours ‘researching’ new job possibilities on the internet, but we’re no further forward with our CV. It’s the habit called procrastination, and it can really get in the way, especially when we’re trying to do something life-changing like embark on a new career.
Procrastination undermines confidence and can lead to problems at work and at home, with our health, relationships, finances and much besides. So why? Why do you or I or anyone else procrastinate? Why do we make commitments to ourselves and other people that we don’t carry through? It can start as a simple way of trying to manage our priorities. But if we keep doing it, it’s more likely to be about resistance to what we think we’re going to encounter when we get started on the Thing we need or want to do. So what do we imagine we’ll come up against?
Work that’s too hard, demanding or boring. Having to talk with or confront people we might feel intimidated by or don’t want to hurt. Difficult feelings, for example discomfort, anxiety, embarrassment or frustration. We may be afraid of failing, taking a step into the unfamiliar. We might even be afraid of success, somehow not really believing we can get where we want to go. Putting off trying is a great way of not finding out.
Whatever it is that’s holding us back, the more we put off, the more stuck we become. The more we break promises to ourselves (I’ll do it tomorrow – tomorrow night – this time next week – before Christmas….) the less we trust and respect ourselves.
What to do about it? Here’s some top tips – no one technique works for everyone, so mix and match until you find what does it for you.
1. RELAX
Procrastination often thrives when we’re tense, self-critical, pressurised, and overwhelmed. So identify the very smallest first action you’ll need to take to accomplish The Thing (make a call, write an email, etc), and then leave your To Do list on the desk and go for a brisk walk around the block, breathing deeply. Consciously walking away is like going back a couple of steps in order to jump further forward. Come back and have some water. Then take that very first step. Then take the next step. Then the next……
2. REMEMBER WHAT WORKED BEFORE
Have a look at The Thing you’re putting off and ask yourself these questions:
** What past situation does this new challenge remind me of?
** How did I support myself to get over barriers at that time?
** Could I do something similar now?
Martha had left her job in publishing to set up a small business selling organic skin care products from home. She knew that she had to make a series of ‘cold calls’ to managers of potential outlets, but dreaded stumbling over her words or getting a rejection. She remembered that when she started in publishing, she had to call bookshops, and what had helped most was having a colleague make the first call to give her an idea of what to say. She decided to ask her sister to spend an afternoon with her making calls, and together they came up with a formula of words that seemed to work.
3. GET SUPPORT
Martha’s sister was an ideal person to ask for help; she supported Martha’s aims, wasn’t going to be judgemental, had some experience in the area of cold-calling herself and had a bit of free time.
** Who do you know who ticks at least two of those boxes, to help you do what you’re putting off?
** What specific support could you ask for?
** What could you offer in return?
4. REWARD YOURSELF
There’s no point making career-change all about struggle and difficulty - enjoy the journey as much as the arrival. Keep a list of everything you do towards making the shift (a log of success) and periodically build in real rewards for yourself, commensurate with the size of the challenge you’ve met. Rewards can be tiny – cup of coffee, bar of chocolate, new DVD – or really significant, like a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
The point is to follow through with the reward you promise yourself just as sincerely as you have taken on the challenge. Both help to reinforce your self-image as a person who does what they say they are going to. The opposite of someone procrastinating. Someone reliable. Someone to be proud of.
For more suggestions visit www.overcomingprocrastination.net
Copyright © Andrea Perry 2009 www.andreaperry.co.uk
Andrea Perry is a psychotherapist, writer and consultant, and offers coaching to people wanting to make life changes. Contact her at apconsultancy@hotmail.co.uk
Or look at ‘Isn’t It About Time? How to stop putting things off and get on with your life” and “The Little Book of Procrastination”, both by Andrea Perry (Worth Publishing) on www.amazon.co.uk or www.worthpublishing.com
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