Have you ever been excited by a career change idea then thought 'but it is not possible for me?' Rather than thinking about all the reasons why it may not be possible for you, Satu Kreula suggests that you start to find out how it COULD be possible.
Have you ever had that thought? There you are excited about some idea you are starting to develop, and from somewhere, either from your external environment, or most often from your own head you hear the words: "But it's probably not possible" or "You're not being realistic".
I think those are the two most popular phrases that prevent my clients from moving towards work that they could enjoy. Making something someone says to them or some thought in their heads that is being provoked by fear into a ‘fact'.
When a client of mine says that, I often ask them: is that really true?
What do you think?
Of course it's not a fact. The only things that are facts are things like the sky is blue above my house right now. Most anybody could come to my house and verify that.
‘It's not possible' is not a fact, it's a belief
And a very damaging belief I might add.
So what can you do when either people you trust bring it up or when it's a pervading thought in your mind? I often ask clients to think through: "What would it take for you to believe that it 'could' be possible?" It's a slight shift, it's not taking it to the extreme, but it's exploring where that belief might come from.
Most often or not it comes from an ungrounded assumption. We assume something without actually checking for its accuracy. So the action that most people take on as homework post coaching sessions is exploring their assumptions. For example just last week one client said to me: it's not realistic because I'm too old (he's in his early forties).
We talked about the lady who'd just finished her PhD at 93, and discussed whether she would have done this had she seen herself as ‘too old'. We then explored why he thought he was too old. And he said because all the people in media (where he wants to work) are so young. I asked him whether he knew that for a fact, and whether this would be a hindering factor. And he said no, but it just seemed that way. I then asked him what it would take for him to start believing that it ‘could be possible', and he said he'd go out and talk to people in the media field that he knew to find out what he could do, etc. He still felt scared, but he was ready to go out and do something about that fear.
Mark Twain said it well I think: "Courage is the resistance of fear, not the absence of fear".
Leave a comment below: What are you thinking is not possible? And how could you resist your fears and start to explore how it ‘could' be possible?
Satu Kreula is an executive and personal career coach who works with people who are externally successful but who are internally unhappy, dissatisfied or even bored. She helps her clients figure what it is that they are passionate about, how this translates into jobs, and what they need to do to get the work they want, including getting over any fears or limiting beliefs that stand in her clients' ways. Website: www.escape-club.org email: coach@escape-club.org
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