How to be brave when you'd rather hide under the duvet

"I’m very brave generally” he went on in a low voice, "only today I happen to have a headache.”

So said Tweedledum in Alice Through a Looking Glass.

The key to successfully changing career isn’t understanding your values, identifying your favourite skills and passions, creating a killer action plan and gathering support and inspiration to keep you on your way.

All those things are very important. But they don’t get us anywhere without courage.

It can be hard to admit that what’s really holding us back isn’t lack of money, time, or clarity.

We know, deep down, that we can overcome these issues if we just grasp the nettle.

As someone who flirted around the edges of my own nettle bed for many years, I know that reaching out and definitively clutching those stingers is easier said than done.

• If you’ve worked in banking for 15 years and risen to the top rungs of the ladder, you have a lot to lose: great salary, benefits, status.
• If you’ve just been made redundant, you may be grappling with rejection and your confidence is likely to be pretty shaky.
• If you’ve hopped around from job to job, never quite finding your groove, you’ll find it hard to trust yourself and chances are you’re not as financially secure as you’d like to be.

We can all identify with Tweedledum. We’ve been brave in the past, but right now it’s January, it’s cold out and frankly we’d rather stick our head under the duvet.

But ignoring our career dissatisfaction doesn’t make it go away.

So how can we be brave, when it’s the last thing we feel like?

1. Burn your bridges!

As the invading Roman army crossed each bridge they would burn it, to discourage retreat. Give yourself no alternative but to move forward. Resign, declare publicly a hitherto secret goal, book a plane ticket, just say yes to something that scares the h*ll out of you and figure out how you’ll do it later.

This doesn’t mean leaving yourself with no security or destroying good working relationships. Make sure you have a safety net, but do ask yourself how much of a net you really need.

2. Ever increasing circles

If the above goes against your core DNA, try the opposite. Build up your confidence gradually by taking tiny steps in the right direction.

Sign up for the newsletter of an organisation that interests you, go to a conference in an industry that intrigues you, or call up the friend of a friend who made a move similar to the one that you’re contemplating.

3. 233, 600 hours

All you 40 year olds reading this, this is how many waking hours you may have left! This is assuming you get to 80, a fairly respectable innings that none of us can afford to take for granted.

It’s a sobering calculation and it’s not my intention to depress anyone. But now and then I think it’s worth reminding ourselves that our time here is finite, and we need to make the most of it.

4. Whistle a happy tune

On a lighter note….! Take a leaf from Deborah Kerr’s book. When faced with a daunting aspect of your career change, fake nonchalance.

An easy way to do this is to pretend you’re someone else. My mother for example is cowed by no-one (except spotty 16 year old bank clerks – a puzzling anomaly). She once gave me some great advice. When you need to make a phone call you’re worried about, don’t endlessly rehearse what you’re going to say – you’ll put the call off for days. Just pick up the phone and dial.

If you’re researching a career shift, don’t let those contacts languish neatly but uselessly on your excel spreadsheet until precisely the right moment (there never is one). Pick up the phone and dial!

5. Mix with the right crowd

The changes you are proposing will stir up strong feelings in those around you. Your family will want to protect you. Friends and colleagues may feel envious and unsettled.

Seek out people who have successfully achieved what you hope to, or who are on that track (you can find networking groups and forums of all flavours through a quick search on Google). It’s easier to be brave in the company of others headed in the same direction.

This is your one life. Don’t be trapped in the gilded cage of handsome salary and benefits, or in the dark cave of self-doubt and fear. Remember Seneca’s words:

“He who is brave is free.”